“My Generation is Quite a Sullen One…”: Trauma and Remembering in Life Stories after 1956

Abstract

Following 1989, the public discussion and examination of the history of secret police agents happened in an inadequate, unsatisfactory manner: Hungarian society was unable to come to terms with its former informers. This proved to be a loss not only for the victims, “the targets”, but also for the “observers”. The catharsis of asking and receiving forgiveness did not occur, although it could have lead to deliver provided relief also for those who were involved.The purpose of this essay is to describe the life story of E. V., who suffered a nervous breakdown when her fiancé was executed in 1957 during the post-revolutionary persecutions. Meanwhile the political police recruited her as an agent. Based on the available sources, it is possible to claim that after the Hungarian political transformation in 1989, E. V. reshaped her memory and her personal identity because she was unable to face her past. She claimed in her life history interview: “I am no relative or friend to anyone”.